leaving christianity – The Agnostic Gospel

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The Agnostic Gospel

Searching for spiritual unity in spite of religious division.

Tag: leaving christianity

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Confessionals, Spirituality

The Agnostic Gospel (UPDATE)

March 20, 2019 — 0 Comments

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One day after my 35th birthday, a doctor I had never met showed me a scan that would change my life forever. I needed months of space and silence to process, but now I’m strong enough to be open: I have been diagnosed with glioblastoma — an aggressive stage IV brain cancer with a stark prognosis. Even before I knew, my life was changing. Sandy and I had renovated our home, sold it, and separated. I wasn’t sure where my future would take me, but knew I needed to open a new chapter. Of course, I never expected this. In the past few months, I’ve undergone brain surgery, brain radiation, chemotherapy, and countless alternative treatments. The following year will bring countless more, but I am proud to fight. I’m not fully ready to walk into the light, but I’m taking a step at least. I know this information hits hard — but know I still need a lot of time to myself. Please don’t be afraid to reach out, but also don’t take it personally if you don’t hear back. Thank you all for being my friends on this strange journey. May we all live and love fully in the present.

This is 35 🥳

⚡️ flamingo vibes ⚡️

Offered various dried flowers to the fire last night — some grown by me, some gifted, some stolen from the wild. Each represents a powerful experience I wanted to embrace forever... but I suppose it wouldn’t be an offering, if I didn’t love what I offered.

Happy Saturday y’all 🐼✌🏼

While I’ve shared many magic moments from the past six weeks, my trials have remained unseen. In reality, none of this was easy. I’ve been overworked and underslept. I’ve been constantly on the move and everywhere at once. I’ve offered guidance to traveling teenagers overwhelmed with emotions, all while reckoning with my own. I’ve seen my father and mother’s voices come through me in ways I have never witnessed. I’ve had to balance enforced boundaries with honest vulnerability. And more than anything, I’ve had to be honest with myself. Still, whenever I was able to breathe and be present, it was clear I was in paradise. I have @msjalee and @camille_verity (dear friends, old and new) to thank for that: you were always there to share my burdens and bring me back to reality. We have been through a war, and I am so proud of the ways we supported each other through the process. I have taken many trips in life. But as our final students depart, I realize this time I have no home to return to — I’m actually selling it this week, and have no plan for what comes next. But I’ve learned to be present, and listen; I’m experienced enough to trust that when I stay open, I’ll always find my way. It just takes a little faith. Thankfully, I’ve found mine 💫

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