leaving christianity – The Agnostic Gospel

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The Agnostic Gospel

Searching for spiritual unity in spite of religious division.

Tag: leaving christianity

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Confessionals, Spirituality

The Agnostic Gospel (UPDATE)

March 20, 2019 — 0 Comments

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🌊 walkin’ on water with my west coast cuz

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Life’s been hard to make sense of lately. I no longer have a space to call my own, my body doesn’t function in the ways it’s supposed to, I’m confused about what the purpose of creating anything is, and the “proper” path to healing is non-existent. There is no roadmap for incurable cancers. You have to rely exclusively on faith and self-starting actions while wrestling the American healthcare monster AND hoping your loved ones will help carry you through a difficult time — all with no guaranteed end in sight (except the big one, of course). All in all, this makes my life vulnerable and experimental. Only 5% of GBM patients survive 5 years, which is a hard stat to ignore (but sometimes you have to); trying everything is a must. I’ve been in Michigan, California and Tennessee over the past month, tying up loose ends and seeking experimental treatments. Grounding would be nice, but I’m grateful to have made it this far with the help of family and friends. Hugs forever, please. Here’s hoping life turns rightside-up soon.

One day after my 35th birthday, a doctor I had never met showed me a scan that would change my life forever. I needed months of space and silence to process, but now I’m strong enough to be open: I have been diagnosed with glioblastoma — an aggressive stage IV brain cancer with a stark prognosis. Even before I knew, my life was changing. Sandy and I had renovated our home, sold it, and separated. I wasn’t sure where my future would take me, but knew I needed to open a new chapter. Of course, I never expected this. In the past few months, I’ve undergone brain surgery, brain radiation, chemotherapy, and countless alternative treatments. The following year will bring countless more, but I am proud to fight. I’m not fully ready to walk into the light, but I’m taking a step at least. I know this information hits hard — but know I still need a lot of time to myself. Please don’t be afraid to reach out, but also don’t take it personally if you don’t hear back. Thank you all for being my friends on this strange journey. May we all live and love fully in the present.

This is 35 🥳

⚡️ flamingo vibes ⚡️

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